What do men want in a marriage?

Q. "What do men want in a marriage?"

A. People get married for a lot of reasons. Let's assume the best. Here are some things a good man wants in a marriage:

He wants a woman who is attractive and graceful in her femininity.

He wants a woman who honestly appreciates him.

A man wants to respect the woman he is involved with. (If your subculture values chastity before marriage, you will need to consider that. There are risks if one of you values chastity but the other doesn't.)

A man wants a woman he can trust. This is not just trusting to be sexually faithful. He is trusting you with his life. He is trusting you to be his sole source of intimacy. He is trusting you with his fortune.

What men most want in a marriage is the woman they thought they married. Remember the saying:

"Women marry men thinking they'll change. Men marry women thinking they never will. Both are disappointed."

It would be better if you enter the marriage thinking that what he is now is the best you will get. If you try to change him, especially by the classic method of telling him every day "what his problem is," you will change him for the worse. (That is the great advantage of living together first: you both can be pretty sure you know what you're getting.)

If you are faking who you are until you get the ring, if you are faking your appreciation of him intending to change him later, you are guaranteeing unhappiness.

What men most want in marriage is happiness. Don't you?

How to Achieve a Successful Marriage and Fight Infidelity

If you want your relationship to work, it is important to reinforce the intimacy you and your partner had while the two of you are still dating and to continue such happy moments — even if you are already married. Here are some tips from one of the women on the Tips What Men Want team to guide you in maintaining healthy relationship:

  1. Communicate with your partner — Communication is very important for your marriage to work out. Since both of you come from different family upbringing, you two will have differences. Because boys and girls are raised differently, and because males and females have been subject to different evolutionary pressure, you will have major problems communicating.You must learn to express yourself and make your partner understand. You must also learn to listen to comprehend what your partner is trying to express. If you do not learn to speak out, your partner might take it for granted that you are okay with what they are doing even if you're not. If you don’t know how to listen, your will never be able to understand your partner.  (You'll want to see our pages on "Why Do Men Hide Their Feelings?" "How Do You Define Intimacy for Men?" and "How Should We Define Commitment for Men?")
  1. Be honest with your partner — No matter how bad it is, it is always advisable to be open and honest to your partner. Instead of giving them negative criticism, try talking to them in a friendly manner and tell them what you do not like. Instead of shouting at them or snapping at them, it is always better to talk it out in a smooth manner.
  1. Learn to trust each other — Trust is very important to make your relationship work. Without trust it is  impossible to make your marriage last long. And do not take for granted the trust that is given by your partner. Once it’s broken it is very hard to build it up again.
  1. Go on a vacation with your partner — Going on a vacation does not necessarily mean that you and your partner have to go somewhere else. During weekends, instead of working in your office, always reserve the days to your partner. You can spend the time in your house and do something relaxing such as cooking a good meal while watching movies or have good sex. (For some extra ideas, see our page on "What Do Men Want in the Bedroom?")
  1. Learn to accommodate your partner — Since you and your partner grew up differently, your ideas and interest might differ. Although there are some things that might match, but not everything will. So learn to adjust and accommodate the ways of your partner. Eventually you will get used to it, and it will not matter to you anymore.
  1. Have fun — Being married or going into a relationship does not necessarily mean that you can have unlimited sex. Although that is one of the perks in a relationship, it does not mean that all your free time is limited to this area only. Learn to have fun with your partner. During weekends you can go camping or play badminton with them. If you have family, all the more will you need to have fun to make your marriage work out and to make time with your children. If you are too serious and do not know how to laugh and play, your partner might be bored with you and might look for someone else who can give them fun. Do not take for granted of what you already have. Learn to appreciate the beauty that is around you each day.

These tips should help you and your partner have a satisfying life together and so prevent infidelity and eventual breakup.