Women ask,

"What do men want in a woman?"

Answer: Which men? A great deal of this is individual. But here is a generalization that we can make:

He wants her to be attractive, outside and inside.

Attractiveness is highly desirable. Not only does the man respond to it himself, but his status is directly affected. If his partner is particularly plain, people say, "Poor guy, he must not have much self confidence." Or, "He must not be able to do any better." Every wife is a trophy wife.

Q. What do men like in women physically?

A. It depends in part on what features he imprinted on in puberty, but those features are strongly influenced by biology and society.

What are the biologically attractive features? Sexual attraction has been programmed by evolution to favor those things that can lead to having healthy offspring who grow to maturity and have children of their own. Thus, you can expect these things (a video presentation appears below):

  • Sexual maturity, indicated by developed breasts and widened hips. In North America, currently, men love big breasts.

  • Good genes, indicated by symmetric features.

  • Good health.

  • Enough body fat to get a fetus through gestation, indicated by curves. (Too little body fat and ovulation shuts down.)

  • Enough time to raise a child to maturity, indicated by youth.

  • Not to be currently pregnant, indicated by a thin waist. Broadly around the world, a waist-to-hip ratio of about two-to-three seems to be preferred.

You may notice that there are exceptions to these. 

  • We are currently too obsessed with thinness in this society. Malnutrition is not conducive to childbearing.

  • There are societies where the desire for body fat predominates over a thin waist.

Inner beauty is as important. The inner beauty men crave in a woman might be called "feminine grace," a comfort with being a woman, being at home in her body, facile with relationships, nurturing others, and with bringing beauty into the world. Men's sexuality is not personal, but a response to The Feminine, and it responds particularly strongly to feminine grace. 

Poetically, male sexuality is worship of the Goddess. A man wants a woman who can wear the image of the Goddess for him.

Video of "What Do Men Find Attractive in Women Physically?"

Q. What do men want from a woman?

A. A man wants a woman to want him for himself, not for what she thinks she can make of him. All too often women marry men thinking they can change them, and their preferred methods of transformation are criticism and repetition. This does indeed change men, but not into what was desired.

A man wants a woman to accept him as himself, and an important part of that is to accept him as being a man. There are some aspects of his being a man that may be difficult for you, as a women, to properly appreciate:

  • His sexuality is visual and tactile, of looking and touching, not of talking.

  • His core sexuality is response to the Feminine, the Goddess. It is not personal; although, his choice of you as priestess to lead him in this worship is very personal.

  • He gets pleasure just by looking at women. It does not involve any fantasies of having sex or a relationship with them. It has become a conditioned response, so it is mostly unconscious. It does not threaten his relationship with you. (My wife points out pretty women to me. She understands.)

  • He craves intimacy, but intimacy for him is physical intimacy rather than verbal/emotional intimacy. As a boy he was ridiculed when he showed his emotional vulnerability, by boys and girls and men and women. If you want emotional intimacy, you need to establish physical intimacy. Only once he feels close to you can he risk it.

Find out more about what men are like at our page on human male mating behavior.


Men want to be understood and appreciated. You can learn many of the things you need to know about men in our mini course on Understanding Men. Sign up for it in the sidebar.

The best way to be attractive to a man is to exhibit  what Kara Oh has named Feminine Grace. You can find out what feminine grace is, how to exhibit it, and how it works, read Kara's book, Men Made Easy:

Click here to download Men Made Easy now

We also have an article about what guys want in bed.